so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
