Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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