you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
