Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As shirtless as possible
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
