I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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