Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We had sex on a dog bed..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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