I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
