You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
