I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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