There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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