she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
