Taylor Swift is so right about you.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
