Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
