I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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