We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
