Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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