I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize