We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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