Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
