also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
