For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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