people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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