I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize