that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
