Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just high enough for therapy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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