the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
