the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
