i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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