Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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