My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
