Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
