girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
