i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They have beer where we have blood.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
