We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
