I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE