I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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