what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
