i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize