I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
