is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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