His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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