Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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