i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
