Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the condom got lost in my hair
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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