I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
