I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
