Nicole vs. Life
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
