dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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