Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
