I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
