he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
