This is not my ceiling
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
