i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize