Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize