He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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