I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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