you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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