new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
