There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
