Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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