you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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