Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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