Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
