I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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