Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
