Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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