Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
