I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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